why do I bother?

I saw an old tivo'd episode of "60 Minutes" last night. It had a segment about a big coal ash spill in Tennessee. It was disgusting to watch and sad to hear about all the lives it affected. It made a pristine land look like a tar pit overnight. The fish literally jumped out of the water rather than be in there with the black gooey coal ash. The water was poisoned, the land destroyed... but what do we expect? Byproducts from manufacturing will magically disappear? When the trash in my trashcans is hauled away I'm grateful. I don't know where it goes. I assume because I pay taxes they've paid someone to figure out the ethical and environmentally friendly way to get rid of my crap. Perhaps my assumption is unrealistic but I do not have a sanitation engineering degree and it would do no one any good to assume I could ever become an expert in this stuff and help. 

So we do what we can, right?

I bought recycled kitchen counter tops. Even though granite counter tops are the last thing I want to spend money on right now... my counter tops were faded yellow 50's tile that had bowed from water damage and looked like they harbored bacteria from the Eisenhower era. Every time I came home from a trip I'd think, "I'm so glad to be home!" Then I'd walk in the kitchen and think, "My god those counter tops are ugly!" I won't go into the gnarly grout or the big chunks missing from corners... let's just say I held my breath and finally wrote a check.

And buying granite counter tops isn't rocket science. Once you decide actual granite takes too much upkeep... your other choice is a man-made product like Caesarstone or Silestone. These man-made granites have no upkeep. Perfect for the cook whose most sophisticated cleaning implement is a sponge.

We chose a man-made granite that was "recycled." Now, not to toot my own horn but we could have chosen a regular one with less recycled materials but I felt good thinking I used someone's castoffs, they still look beautiful and I'm helping the environment.

Right?

Well, per "60 Minutes" this black mucky coal ash has a toxic component called fly ash (it's the dry coal byproduct)... which they don't know what to do with. So what they do is... put it in our stuff. Brilliant, huh? Disguise it as something good. So our recycled products like bowling balls and concrete and.... of course... kitchen counter tops... have coal fly ash.

Like mine. Or I'm assuming. It doesn't show up on the company's website. But the word "recycled" sounds better than "receptacle for toxic materials." My counter tops are even ash grey. There's some irony.

I immediately went from feeling good about myself to... will I poison my family now if I throw a lettuce leaf back in the bowl that fell on the kitchen counter? My son thinks they put sparkles in the granite to distract you from the toxins. Of course all the toxins are sealed into whatever-the-hell man made recycled granite actually is. So my fiance said it's probably just a problem for the working class guys who fabricate it. I wonder if they know.

We went to visit the fabrication facility to pick out our granite (or granite-lite which is what man made probably is)... and the workers were cutting slabs in a warehouse. The air was thick with granite dust... or in the case of the recycled stuff... fly ash... toxic fly ash. These workers were wearing little surgical masks but their hair and faces were thick with this dust. Every surface you touched or sample book you picked up was coated in it.

Would I have chosen it had I known? No. Can I do anything about it now? No.

So, I feel a little sad now when I look at my new kitchen counter tops. They still look beautiful but who knows what dangers lurk below. 

(Photo #1) (Photo #2)